Good bye Malawi - this is not a farewell

Lilongwe International Airport, 2pm. The sky is cooking rain again. But, as usual before the storm, everything is so still. So I am. I have been so in denial that the trip was coming to an end that I have not fully realised where I am and what I am doing here. I can't think what I need to do. I can't find anything in my bag. I can't find the gate. I message Chrispin saying 'there is no gateeee?!'. He responds promptly: 'We have only one gate 😂😂'. Of course you do...

Everything here moves so slowly. The frustration of the first few days in Malawi has dissolved and I now feel cuddled by the slow rhythm of Malawian life which, despite the challenges, flows undisturbed. I am sad - I think? In reality, I don't know how I feel. I have been completely wiped out during this trip. The long car journeys, the dust, the chicken chicken chicken and more chicken diet have taken their toll, especially when coupled with the unpleasantness of getting a flu in the hot weather and having to keep up with the schedule nonetheless. Living out of a bag as we kept crossing the country and moving hotels, picking out and wearing half used clothes that were getting progressively more dirty as there was no chance to wash them. 

I resented chosing to come on this trip. I started the year tired, flew back from Italy to the UK for only two weeks, packed bags in a rush feeling totally unprepared, left my friends behind - once again. I left with a bag of stones on my heart, questioning whether I would be able to dig out my Anthropological spirit and embrace the adventure to make the most of it. I don't know where those feelings went, but they disappeared as soon as I landed and embarked on the long drive up to Mzuzu on my favourite road, the M1. 

I have loved every minute of my time in Malawi. I have been filled with energy, and sun, and smiles. My mind has been so quickly taken away from my artificial, man made problems (or, as Chrispin and Chris would say, 'human made problems, because it's not only men creating problems' 😂) back at home when Malawian life opened under my eyes. The lack of services, the scale of poverty, the delays in development, the harsh reality of rural life are all things I wasnt prepared for. I was also not prepared to receive the warmth of Malawians and their culture. I had to come here to understand why Malawi is known as the warm heart of Africa. Although I can't describe it with words, I could perceive this warmth from the very first hours I arrived in Malawi. I feel I am now pervaded by it.

It started to rain so dramatically, and I am now aboard my flight. We are preparing to take off, and I somehow get out of my dumbnesss. I go through my pictures: waterfalls, Lake Malawi, remote islands, muddy roads, baboons, geckos, spiders. We have gone far and wide: Mzuzu, Livingstonia, Salima, Lilongwe, Zomba, Blantyre. The awareness that I am actually leaving hits me and I start to think about what I will miss the most and what I am looking forward to when I get back to the UK. I have made a list.

Things I am looking forward to

1. A proper shower, with actually warm water - I think I only got 4 of those in Malawi

2. Shampoo - even of the cheapest brand. My hair feel like a sponge after a month of washing them with a soap bar

3. Coffee - the actual one and not the instant terrible powdered Ricoff!

4. Washing machine - so that I can shove all my clothes in it at 90 degrees and get the grim of a month out of them.

Things I will miss

1. Waking up in the morning with a strong shiny sun, looking at it as it cooks rain through the day and witnessing the power of nature when the sky finally explodes into a relieving and very loud storm.

2. The long, exhausting drives when life felt suspended but was all under my eyes. Looking out of the window car and observing what people were up to in their routine, seeing the weirdest things happening meanwhile (there was a kid carrying a piglet on his shoulders on the motorway yesterday?). I absolutely loved those drives, despite the potholes and the condition of the roads.

3. Crossing through the countryside, admiring the endless view of green trees and hills and mountains on the horizons. Everything felt so incontaminated and pure (the benefit of lack of development?). It felt so infinite that at times I projected and thought I could see the curvature of the Earth.

4. My music, which is now 'our music'. I am not sure I can keep listening to the same songs when I am back, they have been so deeply contaminated by the long Malawi drives that I fear I will be sad and wishing to be in Malawi when listening to them. But there are some great additions in there: One love from Bob Marley, Graceland from Paul Simon and the iconic Jerusalema from Mister KG!!! I think I will play those on repeat from Monday...

5. Going to the market - or stopping the car at the edge of a market and having people clinging on the windows to sell you things. Or, just stopping the car somewhere and waiting for someone to appear from the bushes to sell you dried ants, or a freshly caught fish. Vegetables, fruits, beans, smoked fish. The hugest avocados. The weirdest medicinal herbs alleged to be able to cure the most mundane adult diseases and desires ;-)

6. Chris and Chrispin's endlessly ironic spirit, able to recognise Malawi's issues and to joke about it. 'No one is scared to go to prison because Malawi is a prison!', and them both laughing as they were thinking the same exact thing at the same exact time of a random conversation. Their ability to share my awe when we found something that worked! Some very excited people in an elevator in Blantyre below - we had to cross the whole country to find one!

7. The simplicity and freedom of just keep going. Despite the tiredness, the sweat, the dust and the mud stuck to our faces, despite our car being full of empty water bottles and half chewed maize cobs and way too ripen Jackfruit that stunk. Despite Chrispin saying 'its going to take maybe 4 hours' and it ends up taking 8hours. And the poor man kept driving and driving and driving without falling asleep, without crashing the car, always avoiding potholes and somehow still telling stories and making up jokes! Awe awe awe.

8. The sound of Chichewa, the local language. So melodic and sweet and sounding so ancient. Me having to turn my head to ensure who was speaking was still Chrispin or Chris, and not their alteregos as their voices changed so suddenly in this swift colonial-local language switch.

9. Chambo, or, the tastiest fish ever!

10. Chrispin and Chris, of course! Them coming to pick me up with a smile on their faces, funny and jovial, never complaining even when we had a flat tyre and always appreciative to life. Somehow always full of energy but able to squeeze a snooze in at every opportunity. And the feeling of being so well taken care of and looked after. I have started to think that all my desires are an order so I am going to struggle with having to figure things out for myself when I get back to the West ;-)

11. Chrispin's snack-working. So inspiringggg! A man so busy I am not sure how he managed to tend to my trip for 4 weeks. I would have freaked out in panic if I was him, looking concerned at my long to do list. Not once I felt I was on the way to his many commitments. Always so calm, so skilled in prioritising things, so alright with stopping on the motorway and switching on his laptop so that he could send some important documents. 

12. To be continued...but can this list ever be completed?

Please elevate us!

Jackfruit battle!

Sad faces :-(